Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
