i think my tv is drunk
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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