yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
