I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
