i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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