New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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