Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He told me they were just razor bumps!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
