Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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