...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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