they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
its not stalking. its research.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
