I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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