Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
