you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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