At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
