Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
