how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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