I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
