im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
