Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
