dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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