home. puking in laundry basket.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We're too hungover to prance.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
