i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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