you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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