I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Oh god it's open bar.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
