I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
