It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
