Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
