I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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