she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
