I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
