I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
