There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
