just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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