her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
