Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
