Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
