He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
