It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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