i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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