singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
