hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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