Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
