Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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