we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
