the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize