she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
