guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
