Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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