worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
