no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
