I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
