i don't like sucking hair
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
