Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
