He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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