i really wish james franco would like my vagina
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
