hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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