Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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