I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
