I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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