He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize